As this blog is going to record my journey as a special education paraprofessional, I figured it was only appropriate to record the journey that got me here in the first place.
To me, it is a miracle. After 3 1/2 years at one university in the Rockies, a 2 1/2 year hiatus due to health issues, and a 3-year-long triumphal return to a university in my midwestern hometown, I worked LONG AND HARD for my elementary education degree. Countless experiences confirmed to me over and over again that this is where I was supposed to be, what I was supposed to study, and what I wanted as my life's work. And I planned to have my own classroom as soon as anybody wanted me.
Nobody did.
I had a 3.97 GPA, lots of work experience under my belt (at least for a first-year teacher) as a tutor and sub and camp counselor and before-and-after school program worker and volunteer teacher, etc. I had a GREAT student teaching experience and got some great references and letters of recommendations out of it. I started subbing just under a year ago, but I really wanted to (and was FINALLY in a place, personally, where I *could*) start teaching my OWN kiddos. I applied to probably three dozen jobs in the area. Never even got an interview.
I felt devastated. And forgotten. And very, very confused. Why did no one want what I had to offer?
Enter Wednesday of last week. Deep in the throws of a pity-party for my ONE last-minute-interview-gone-well-but-not-well-enough, I was in the mood to do ANYTHING but anything useful. I got a call at 11:00 from a local principal at a school I hadn't even applied to, but word-of-mouth scored me an interview at 1:00. And by interview, I mean a "so-and-so said you're amazing and their word is good enough for me; if you want this job, it's yours." And so, my prayers for a steady, meaningful job where I was truly NEEDED were answered. I had the paperwork filled out by 3:00 and started the next morning.
Little did I know all this time that the little seven-year-old girl for whom I'd be a para is someone I KNOW. I knew her before she ever needed intervention. I've watched her grow up in my church and I've prayed for and cried with her family as cancer and the radiation that cured it racked her brain. I taught her two older siblings for years in Sunday school. My niece (also a special needs child) was in her class. And, come to find out, her parents had been anxious about sending her to school with a para because of all the UNKNOWNS.
It is such a sweet, special blessing to know you are where you need to be and that EVERYTHING else happened for a good reason. It also feels pretty darn amazing to have the particular skill set and availability to be an answer to someone else's prayers. I felt awfully proud for about 5 seconds. And then the humility came.
First days are tough with any job, but especially when there are emotions and physical labor involved. Paras do it ALL, often without a break. I am LOVING the learning involved in this job, the loving and the PERSONALNESS and the humanness of it all. It really brings a lot of things into focus. And I am learning all the things I wanted to know about helping children with special needs in an inclusive classroom, from the side I SHOULD learn it on.
I already feel my heart softening, my brain spinning, my arms aching, my compassion growing, and time slowing down at moments it almost feels like it is standing still. I have loved all THREE DAYS. :) I cannot wait to learn and experience more. I hope to use this blog as a place to record my impressions, the strategies I want to remember, the lessons I learn, and the children who, however long this job may last, will touch my life forever.
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