Human Hearts

It's sad, but true, that I have always been intimated by children with special needs.  The biggest part of me is simply afraid of failing them.  Not knowing what to expect or what to do in different situations, and wanting for those children especially to still feel included and to achieve as much as they can, is an ache that is particularly hard for me to handle.  I had one student in my student teaching classroom who spent most of his day and got all of his grades in the resource room, and I had NO IDEA what to do with him when he was with me.  I cannot wait for the EDUCATION that this job will be, to fill in the gaps a little and learn how best to reach students like him. 

Part of me, though, is awful and afraid they'll distract other students in the classroom.  Or afraid I am not compassionate enough and I will lose my patience even though I know they can't help it.  Part of me worries how other teachers/professionals/parents are judging me in my interactions with them.  Part of me doesn't want to embarrass them by singling them out.  The scheduling of a resource room day is, I've found out, really stressful.  Part of me doesn't know how to relate--I've been pretty blessed with a quick mind and wellness on all fronts, for the most part, and I just don't know what to say or how to act.  And I think about these things A LOT, and the thinking often keeps me from doing anything.

There are a lot of complicated parts to this teaching thing as it is, and when you throw special needs into the mix, it just gets a LOT MORE COMPLICATED.

Until you realize, it really isn't.

People are people.  'Nuff said.

It's funny to me how spending even just three days with these unique, vibrant, determined, and loving children has had me looking differently at the people I pass on the street, on the bus, in the supermarket.  I even made eye contact and said hello the other day to a man in a scooter. 

Not much to brag about, for sure, but a LOT to be humbled about and grateful for.

It's a first step.