These are the Days

"If you don't walk as most people do,

Some people walk away from you,

But I won't! I won't!

If you don't talk as most people do,

Some people talk and laugh at you,

But I won't! I won't!

I'll walk with you.  I'll talk with you.

That's how I'll show my love for you..."

~Carol Lynn Pearson

 

These are the words to a most adorable song children learn in my church.  :)  It's SO cute and rings especially true when you know children who need a little extra TLC. 

 

The little girl I work with at school goes to the same church.  She's learned this song since before it could be about her.  On my first day working with her, I'll admit, I was a little overwhelmed.  Knowing her "since before," being friends with her family, is a HUGE advantage, but it is also a lot of pressure.  Also, she's a child that needs a lot of hands-on kind of attention, and even though it wasn't frustrating at all it WAS a lot to process that first day.  Mid-morning I started to panic inside me--what did I get myself into?  What could I possibly have to offer that would actually HELP her?  What if I couldn't handle an outburst or help her do all she CAN do for herself and reach her potential (the teacher in me has to ask)?  But just as the anxiety was settling in, right in the middle of a math paper, as though she could read my thoughts, she burst out in song--

 

"If you don't talk as most people do,

Some people talk and laugh at you..."

 

And she stopped.

 

So I picked it up again.

 

"But I won't!  I won't!

I'll walk with you.  I'll talk with you.

That's how I'll show my love for you."

 

And she smiled at me.

 

These are the moments I couldn't make up if I tried.  And these are the moments I need to record, so on the harder days I remember why I get up and bike 5 miles roundtrip to school every day. 

 

***

One of the little "quirks" this adorable child has is that she spells out most of what she wants to say.  Fast.  It's a good workout for my brain, for sure.  Also, because she has impulse control issues combined focus issues combined with the need to put everything in her mouth, I help her with everything physical, like holding her hand while we run in gym, writing for her (I let her tell me what to write, though), or going to the bathroom. 

 

Today, we did a whole FOUR PAGES of math in one sitting.  AND she got them all right.  So while we were in the bathroom and I was pulling up her pants I said, "You did SUCH A GOOD JOB TODAY, SO-AND-SO!  You worked really hard on that math paper AND you got them all right!  You are doing so well this morning!"

 

She beamed at me.  A genuine beam.  Which isn't too rare, really--she's a little ray of sunshine--but rarely is there real JOY behind that smile.  And she exclaimed back, with that real joy and WITHOUT SPELLING, "Thanks, Celeste Si-So!"  (That's her nickname for me.)

 

And then she hugged me.

 

Without me having to prompt her.

 

If you knew how hard it is for her to find that *genuine* JOY, you'd know what a big, proud moment this was.  This is the So-and-So I knew before, and for a brief moment she was back. 

 

I was surprised, but I just hugged her back and said, "I sure love you, kiddo."  

 

These are the days, my friend!